Some fireworks for your New Year’s celebration (best appreciated in full-screen mode):
More fireworks, this time from Kamchatka (below the fold, because of goddam autoplay music (fortunately, you can turn it off)):
Category: Humor and horror
Pre-Rush Day link dump
J.K. Rowling has been recognized in Thog’s Masterclass:
Dept of Trickle-Down. ‘There, in his poky office, Simon Price gazed covetously on a vacancy among the ranks of insiders to a place where cash was now trickling down onto an empty chair with no lap waiting to catch it.’ (J.K. Rowling, The Casual Vacancy, 2012)
Daniel Barenboim also earns a mention in Ansible:
Pianist Daniel Barenboim is interviewed by Rosanna Greenstreet: Q. ‘What is your earliest memory?’ A. ‘In my mother’s belly, I remember not liking the tempi my father played the Beethoven Sonatas in.’ (Guardian, 2 November)
Christopher Tolkien doesn’t care for Peter Jackson’s movies:
Invited to meet Peter Jackson, the Tolkien family preferred not to. Why? “They eviscerated the book by making it an action movie for young people aged 15 to 25,” Christopher says regretfully. “And it seems that The Hobbit will be the same kind of film.”
This divorce has been systematically driven by the logic of Hollywood. “Tolkien has become a monster, devoured by his own popularity and absorbed into the absurdity of our time,” Christopher Tolkien observes sadly. “The chasm between the beauty and seriousness of the work, and what it has become, has overwhelmed me. The commercialization has reduced the aesthetic and philosophical impact of the creation to nothing. There is only one solution for me: to turn my head away.”
So is the world going to end tomorrow? Nah. I suppose you could marathon RahXephon if you’re feeling silly, but I suggest listening to Geddy, Alex and Neil instead.
These are the acceptable ways to end civilization:
… asteroid/comet, climate, massive volcanic eruption, zombie pandemic, Daleks, the Master, the Mayor turns into a giant snake monster, Gachnar (although that would be a very tiny apocalypse), gateway to Hell opens over Los Angeles, Anubis, Tripods, Triffids, Ragnarok and possibly a Farnsworth Doomsday Device.
Cold temperatures and warm hearts, true chemical romance, and how to avoid bad theology
Here are a few videos that recently caught my fancy.
There are no “gangnam” parodies because I’m sick of them.
(hic)
The Twenty-First Amendment was ratified on this day in 1933, making this tasteful song possible. Here is an atmospheric, evocative performance by a chamber ensemble conducted by Lindley A. Jones.
Ancient cultural artifacts
You might notice some familiar names in the credits of this 1950 cartoon. You can download it here.
*****
Without exception, everyone on the island clamors to the Skipper for help at every crisis. “Skipper will know what to do.” The Skipper is “brave and sure.” The Skipper calms the islanders at each emergency, not by alleviating the problem, but by standing tall, pounding his chest and loudly making magnificent promises that neither he nor any other person could possibly keep.
Gilligan, the Skipper’s “little buddy”, embodies every extraneous governmental agency, policy and program ever foisted on innocent people anywhere. It is “Gilligan’s island.” Gilligan is well-intentioned. He sincerely wants to help. Gilligan saves no exertion, refuses no absurdity, respects no boundary in his unceasing efforts to solve, or at least soften, any and all of the everyday problems of the castaways. More often than not Gilligan is the problem. At best he makes a bad situation worse. At worst, he makes a great situation completely unbearable.
From A Scholarly Critique of the Style, Symbolism and Sociopolitical Relevance of Gilligan’s Island.
(via Joe Carter.)
*****
Be sure to check today’s Google doodle. Update: It’s gone now, but there’s plenty of Little Nemo to look at here.
Weekend Marxism
I just discovered that the entire movie Monkey Business is up on YouTube. It probably won’t be there long, so catch it while you can.
Stormy Bacon Monday
But can you find “meaningful brain activity” in Washington?
In excitement of Sing Like a Pirate and Talk Like Chester A. Arthur Day, it was easy to forget that this is also the week in which the year’s Ig Nobel prizes were announced. A couple of the highlights:
NEUROSCIENCE PRIZE: Craig Bennett, Abigail Baird, Michael Miller, and George Wolford [USA], for demonstrating that brain researchers, by using complicated instruments and simple statistics, can see meaningful brain activity anywhere — even in a dead salmon.
LITERATURE PRIZE: The US Government General Accountability Office, for issuing a report about reports about reports that recommends the preparation of a report about the report about reports about reports.
The complete list is here.
Let’s sing
(Via Jane.)
*****
Here’s what was wrong with Moyashimon Returns: it didn’t stink. There was no kiviak, no hongeohoe, no surströmming, nothing pungent at all, not even cheese, just bland grape juice.
*****
I’m off to Winfield. See you all next week.
Miscellany
What’s so funny?
“Research” has determined the ten funniest movies of all time. Meh. There are a few minor omissions, such as anything from the Marx Brothers, Laurel & Hardy, Ealing Studios, Mel Brooks or Woody Allen, or movies such as Local Hero or The Wrong Box. Most films on the list I have no desire whatsoever to see.
I’m not that much of a moviegoer, so I can’t authoritatively list the true ten funniest movies ever made. Instead, I present some of my favorite comic movie scenes, only one of which is from a listed movie.
Public service announcement
If you simply must follow the Republican convention in Tampa, Dave Barry’s observations can be found here.
The picture is unrelated.
Pigs can fly
Here’s some nonsense to amuse you while I’m busy not writing.
Missing link discovered: Magical girls perform functions in Japanese society similar to those of superheroes in America. I’ve wondered whether if this is an example of parallel evolution or if there is a common ancestor. A recent discovery suggests that the latter may be the case. The protagonist of Ai to Yuuki no Pig Girl Tonde Buurin is essentially a superhero. However, she has a henshin sequence that is unmistakably that of a mahou shoujo. (The show is on the border between silly and dumb, and I don’t recommend it except as a curiosity.)
*****
Um, no comment.
*****
European history, according to freshman papers:
The Reformnation happened when German nobles resented the idea that tithes were going to Papal France or the Pope thus enriching Catholic coiffures. Traditions had become oppressive so they too were crushed in the wake of man’s quest for ressurection above thenot-just-social beast he had become. An angry Martin Luther nailed 95 theocrats to a church door. Theologically, Luthar was into reorientation mutation. Calvinism was the most convenient religion since the days of the ancients. Anabaptist services tended to be migratory. The Popes, of course, were usually Catholic. Monks went right on seeing themselves as worms. The last Jesuit priest died in the 19th century.
I spent ninth grade at a Jesuit high school. Either I’m older than I had realized, or I was educated by zombies.
*****
Let’s intellect: Is this a parody, or for real?
A community where all angst struggling writers and poets can intellect. We are not only spiritual and constructive in our writing. We are serious, hardworking writers. We have given perspiration to inspiration; We have strived in our thrivations. We have lived to build our living characters, penciled through every constructive detail in our realms filled in sorrow, death, birth, hardship, and pain. Our imaginations entwined to unfurl past a world of hope, a universe of dreams, fairies, trolls, gas- breathing dragons or three-warped witches, tales of Heros, and stories of legend all capsized into an outlined story draft. Words strumming onto a page of pure magic; and it is magic. Our work is engraved in our names, stitched into our bloods, ravenous through our ink-coursed veins that defines the artistic process. Join us and forever hold your peace in The Ambitious Writers, The Children Writers, The Erotics, The Romances, The Horrors, The Fictitious, The Poets, The Westerns, The Adventures, The Mystery, THE STRUGGLING WRITERS
Oh, yeah: Rule #1 is “No negative critiquing.”
*****
Would you buy it for a quarter?
*****
Piano mysteries and more
Here’s about two week’s worth of accumulated trivia.
I lost patience with radio years ago. The only time I listen nowadays is during storm warnings. Consequently, I never knew the Piano Puzzler existed until Angela at Mommy Bytes recently mentioned its tenth anniversary. Each week, pianist Bruce Adolphe arranges a “familiar” tune in the style of another composer, and the contestant’s task is to identify both the composer and the melody. I can usually identify the composer right off, but naming the tune is often difficult. What makes the segments memorable is Adolphe’s fantastic ingenuity in devising his arrangments, which must be heard to be believed. He does things like combine Schubert with Gershwin, Gershwin with Copland, The Fantasticks with Berg, spirituals with Handel, “Old MacDonald Had a Farm” with Brahms, etc., and makes each combination, no matter how unlikely, work. You can stream the programs or download them here. My favorite so far is the April 6, 2011 program.
Sailor Pirates
This was sent to me by a malefactor whom I won’t identify (his name sounds something like “sick puppet”).
Who would the outer senshi be? Haruka and Michiru are a little too obvious, but whom would you pick for Hotaru and Setsuna? Also, is there any guy as dorky as Mamoru, or any girl as annoying as ChibiUsa?
Update for those who have not endured watched Sailor Moon: the pirates and their sailor senshi counterparts have very little in common. Gruier’s hair deliberately imitates Usagi’s, but she is nothing like the stereotypical blonde that Sailor Moon is. Chiaki and Rei are probably the best match: both are black-haired and short-tempered and sometimes wear miko outfits. In each pair, the pirate is the more interesting character.
Still, Sailor Moon is the gold standard for mahou shoujo costumes. I’m always pleased to see pretty girls so attired, even though this is otherwise a crossover that shouldn’t happen.
The mass of mewling fluff
Someday, perhaps soon, I’ll post again. Until then, here’s The Trouble with Tribbles, Edward Gorey-style.
(Via Fillyjonk.)
Derivative art
A little something for math and physics majors, via Fillyjonk.
Here’s Igudesman & Joo & Kremer’s take on the same tune:
Dear Howie
Odds and ends:
I didn’t get very far into Haiyore! Nyaruko-san the first time I sampled it. Sticking a fork into a little girl is not amusing, even if the girl is actually Nyarlathotep. However, both Steven and Ken the Brickmuppet found the first two episodes not entirely worthless. So I gritted my teeth, put my feet firmly on the floor, gripped the armrests of my chair, and grimly stuck it out through the rest of the first episode. Well, it is an improvement over the wretched flash shorts of two years ago, and the forking is not quite as offensive. ((Kirika Yumera remains the only person in anime licensed to use the fork as an offensive weapon.)) Still, I found it more irritating than funny, and I doubt that I’ll watch more.
By the way, Howard Phillips Lovecraft for a brief period was a Miss Lonelyhearts, answering questions such as this:
I am Xah’gnui, who has long delved into the annals of subterranean lore, conducting forbidden researches into the unknown, with a view to resurrecting aeon-silent interplanetary necromancer-lizards. Why is it so hard for me to get a date?
(Via Lynn.)
*****
I see there is an “aniblog” tournament underway. The candidates were drawn primarily from AnimeNano, if I’m interpreting the rules correctly. Unfortunately, this leaves out some of the most interesting weblogs that deal with anime. For instance:
All of these are worth a visit.
*****
Allegedly, the more subtle your mind, the more difficult you’ll find this puzzle. I got it in about 30 seconds.
(Via AoSHQ.)
*****
Mahou shoujo anime is pornographic. So is anime set in high schools. In fact, probably every anime produced this century is pure pornography.
(Via Dustbury.)
*****
Quote of the week, sobering thought division:
The greatest legacy of the internet may wind up being Cute Overload.
*****
Quote of the week, anime division:
If I had a daughter, I’d want her to watch this.
(The Brickmuppet on Mouretsu Pirates.)
*****
Memo to Trek Bicycle Corporation: I see that your factory is in Waterloo, Wisconsin. There is a good chance that you can find literate native speakers of English there. Please hire one, and have him write directions for mounting your luggage rack on a bicycle, so customers don’t have to puzzle over the cryptic diagrams that come with the rack. By the way, it would be thoughful to note on the outside of the packaging that installing the rack requires a hacksaw and file, where customers can see it before buying the rack.
While at the bike shop earlier this week, I discovered that Trek bicycles include a line called “Neko.” Surprisingly, there is no suggestion of anything feline on the bike or on the Trek website. The Neko does feature “Women’s disc brakes.”
Make your reservations now
The organizers of many smaller anime conventions, such as Anime Fest Wichita, are often slow to update their websites. This is inconvenient for those who prefer to plan ahead, so I’ve compiled information for a typical regional convention. This is by no means complete, but it should give potential attendees an idea of what to expect.
Classes, workshops and panels
Anime Taxonomy
The traditional division of anime and manga into the categories of shounen, shoujo, seinen and josei is of little use to the serious student of anime. We’ll develop an alternate classification scheme using as parameters magnitude of breasts, intensity of angst, quantity of blood, diameter of eyes, presence of kemenomimi, frequency of panchira, and potential violations of child pornography laws.
The State of Anime I
A discussion of the problems facing anime in the West and its chances of survival. The presenters place the blame squarely where it belongs: the insane Japanese system for financing anime, and the greed and paranoia of the license-holders.
Anime and the Significant Other
How to introduce that special person in your life to your obsession; tips on which titles to watch together first, what plushies are suitable gifts, how to suggest cosplay, and when to bring up Evangelion.
Exceedingly miscellaneous
In the 1970s, Jack Thompson bought a tract of land in the Royal Gardens subdivision on the island of Hawaii and began building a cedar home there. He finished it in 1983. As he installed the second-story windows, he noticed a orange glow on the panes. The light came from the lava fountains that heralded the eruption of Kilauea, which continues to this day. Over the years, lava flows took out all his neighbors’ homes, one by one, until only Thompson’s was left. This month, a vigorous flow found his house, leaving little beyond a satellite dish embedded in six feet of basalt.