Bees allege abuse

The order Hymenoptera this week obtained a restraining order against the family Orchidaceae.

The group of insects, which includes bees and wasps, claimed abusive treatment by the plants.

“The flowers may look pretty, but they’re vicious,” said a spokesbee, his antennae trembling as he spoke. “They poke us, trap us and submerge us in liquid. They lure us into compromising positions with their looks and perfumes. They wallop us and stick their pollinia on us, just so they can fertilize some random flower that they’ve never even met.

“It’s like the purpose of their flowers is to make us miserable and ridiculous,” he added.

In related news, the order Diptera has filed suit against the genus Bulbophyllum and the Stapeliadoidae for fraud. Despite the often powerful fragrances released by the inflorescences, the flies allege that the plants offer nothing nutritious to reward the insects’ services.