What about giant sea sparrows?

Quote of the week:

“In an article on Saturday headlined ‘Flying saucers over British Scientology HQ’, we stated ‘two flat silver discs’ were seen ‘above the Church of Scientology HQ’. Following a letter from lawyers for the Church, we apologise to any alien lifeforms for linking them to Scientologists.”

Bonus quote:

I’d suggest harvesting organs from legislators, but that brain-death issue would still be a factor.