20% more electable

Any of the contenders for the Republican presidential nomination would be preferable to the current resident of the White House. So would a golden retriever, most potted plants, or any warm glass of milk. The problem is picking one who can defeat Barry Oh! in November 2012. Our choices include unprepared amateurs, inarticulate debaters, damaged goods and Mitt Romney. Can any of them compete with recycled visions of unicorns and rainbows? I doubt it.

Instead, let’s fight the phantoms with the real things:

But Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash aren’t American-born U.S. citizens, you object. Equestria is part of the Hasbro empire, headquartered in Rhode Island, USA; sure they’re Americans. But they’re too young, you say. With a slick lawyer and some expert testimony on “pony years,” that won’t be a problem. But there’s no puppy— So what? Twilight has a dragon assistant, and dragons are much cooler, and hotter, than puppies.

(I’m tempted to nominate Pinkie Pie for VP for the sake of the PP/Biden debates, but RD probably is the better candidate.)

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