Considering how large a part it has played in my life, I have given very little thought to toilet paper, its production, and its transcendent importance. However, I once visited the main prison in the former Soviet Republic of Georgia where, as perhaps you might expect, it was in short supply. The prisoners, however, had at least a temporary solution to the problem: the Complete Works of Lenin.
Which reminds me of a passage in Russian dancer Valery Panov’s autobiography concerning the vital role of the press in the Soviet Union. During his student days, circa 1950, pages of Pravda or Isvestia was torn into eight strips and the strips crumpled until they were soft enough to use as the Soviet prisoners used Lenin.
Unfortunately, American plumbing is too delicate and narrow to accommodate any but the flimsiest forms of wood pulp, so it would be impractical to use the print edition of The Wichita Eagle for the purpose to which it is best suited.