Trivia that matter
Some years back I posted one of Robert Benchley’s Christmas pieces. Here’s another.
By Robert Benchley
It was the night before Christmas, and Editha was all agog. It was all so exciting, so exciting! From her little bed up in the nursery she could hear Mumsey and Daddy down-stairs putting the things on the tree and jamming her stocking full of broken candy and oranges.
Long before The Haunting of Hill House, P.G. Wodehouse explored the possibilities of malevolent spirits infesting old houses. Here is probably the most chilling story Plum ever wrote, published nearly a century ago in 1925.
Some of these are sensible, and some are nonsense. Can you tell which are which?
1. What method or device is named in the illustration?
2. Which band was the more ominous sign of a decaying culture? (Hint.1)
… just for fun. And she’s back.
I doubt that I’m the only person who thought the 2008 Republican ticket was upside-down.
(Via Kim Du Toit.)
Via David Breitenbeck, here’s a list, “Things Mr. Welch Is No Longer Allowed to Do in an RPG.” A few items from the list:
20. Polka is not appropriate marching music.
94. I cannot base my ancient kung fu master on either Gene Simmons or Bluto Blutarski.
105. I am not allowed to polymorph anyone into Abe Vigoda.
134. The King’s Guards’ official name is not “The Royal Order of the Red Shirt”
174. There is no use of Shatner’s spoken word album that doesn’t require a humanity check.
199. My third wish cannot be ‘I wish you wouldn’t grant this wish.’
221. If I get that Yugo up to 120mph again, that’s gonna get some paradox.
251. I am not the Boogie-Woogie Bugle Boy of Gundam Wing Z.
289. My character does not have the flaw Addiction: Helium.
330. The Halfling Paladin does not represent the Lollipop Guild.
411. It is bad form to shoot a god while he’s monologuing.
476. The alignment of 2 years olds is not automatically Neutral Evil.
559. Even if the Ranger offers his sword, the elf his bow and the dwarf his axe, my gnome can’t offer his accordion.
623. Even if the rules allow it, I cannot play a Dire Gummi Bear.
651. My alignment is not Sarcastic Good.
753. No encouraging Swedish accents.
781. My tribe’s trial by combat ritual is not best described as “Calvinball with axes.”
845. It’s not a good idea to taunt Greek heroes with “Who’s your daddy?”
968. A paladin with a British accent is acceptable. One with a Peter Lorre accent isn’t.
975. There is something wrong with a 2nd level Kamikaze.
1172. My brooding costumed vigilante can’t take the flaw Dark Secret: Well Adjusted to Society.
1337. Can’t lure the Bastet into an ambush by turning on the can opener.
See also DM of the Rings and Chainmail Bikini.
Yesterday’s snow is mostly gone already, but there’s more winter scheduled next week. I’m tired of the cold. It’s time for more silliness.
There are two ways I can maintain my sanity in this silly century.
1. Book a one-way trip to the nearest planet capable of supporting intelligent life.
2. Post some funny pictures.
There are no starships due this week at the regional spaceport, so option two it is.
Continue reading “Exploring the boundary between horror and humor”
Several months’ worth of accumulated nonsense, animal edition.
Anne Beatts. Beatts was also the co-creator of a certain Volkswagen advertisement.
***
Prince Philip: “I’d much rather have stayed in the Navy, frankly.”
It is the first day of April, so here’s an appropriate classic.
This is just to say
I have blocked
the canal
that was in
Egyptand which
you were probably
using
for the global economyForgive me
it went sideways
so fast
and out of control
(Via Assistant Village Idiot.)
See also Kenneth Koch.
Maureen Mullarkey defends — sorta — the Vatican’s 2020 creche:
However off-beat the interpretation or craftsmanship, the Abruzzo portrayal is as innocent of blasphemy as a Lego Nativity. It is the departure from expectation—from the protocols of established iconography—that offends critics. Falsely accused of irreverence, its installation in St. Peter’s Square insinuates an intention that the project never held….
Agreed, Abruzzo’s Nativity was unsuited for solemn display in the Vatican. Both site and timing were malapropos. Nevertheless, all the artillery fired at it should have been aimed more accurately.
***
Everything you need to know about Netflix:
The Netflix warning about a documentary concerning a man who beat women to death has two warnings: “Nudity, Smoking.”
***
Shamus has as clear and lucid an explanation of the GameStop business as you’ll find anywhere:
People called this a “David versus Goliath” type situation, which for me conjures up the image of a middle schooler vs. a linebacker. But in terms of weight class, this is more like a regular-sized dude versus Godzilla. Maybe David didn’t totally kill Goliath today, but given the extreme size differential I think cutting Goliath in half is pretty damned impressive.
***
(Via Dale Price.)
… and that’s enough reality. Now for silly nonsense.
It’s February 2, on which day bloggers present favorite poems if they remember to. Since twenty-first century culture is permeated with malignant nonsense, it is appropriate to post some benign nonsense as an antidote. Here is the White Knight’s song from Through the Looking-Glass, first read by Sir John Gielgud, and then set to music by Gryphon.
