Tag: Humor and horror

I have measured out my life in login codes

The .doc File of J. Alfred Prufrock

Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a laptop, put in sleep mode on a table
Let us go through certain half-deserted streets
The blinking-light retreats
Of restless nights in free-wifi cafes
And public libraries with internet
Streets that follow like messageboard argument
of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming blog post
Oh, do not ask, “What, yaoi?”
Let us go and post an entry.

***

I grow old… I grow old…
I shall add some links to my blog roll.

(Via First Thoughts.)

Addendum: Not fond of 20th-century poetry? Here’s a bit of apocryphal Chaucer for you.

Make chimpanzee noises and hide the otter

I recently discovered that John Stump, the composer of “Faerie’s Aire and Death Waltz,” wrote other pieces of music, including the “String Quartet in A Minor (Motoring Accident).” A tribute to Stump, with scans of his scores, can be found here.

More remarkable scores can be seen here, here and here. Some of them have been performed.

High culture, low comedy

Even if I had a television, I wouldn’t be able to watch Al ‘n’ Me. It’s broadcast only on “Metromedia,” which is not available in most markets at this time. Until that classical-era sitcom receives the wider distribution it deserves, you’ll have to make do with Acropolis Now, featuring such low-lifes as Heraclitus and Aristophanes and their mother the Oracle, and Socrates and Plato. A degree in Classics is not necessary to appreciate the show.

If you prefer modern, interactive entertainment, here’s the do-it-yourself Bayeux Tapestry.

(Via Maureen.)

That about sums it up

If you don’t check Dr. Boli every day, you should.

*****

Via Cliff, here’s a little musical story:

C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, but we don’t serve minors.” So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes in and heads for the bath­room, saying, “Excuse me. I’ll just be a second.”

Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, “Get out! You’re the seventh minor I’ve found in this bar tonight.” E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes.

The bartender says, “You’re looking sharp to­night. Come on in, this could be a major development.” Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au naturel. Eventually, C sobers up and realizes in horror that he’s under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.

“… we could hear the universe inhaling …”

Occasionally reviews are worth reading.

Transmission of music data at rates faster than the speed of light seemed convenient, until I realized I was hearing the music before I actually wanted to play it. Apparently Denon forgot how accustomed most of us are to unidirectional time and the general laws of physics. I tried to get used to this effect but hearing songs play before I even realized I was in the mood for them just really screwed up my preconceptions of choice and free will. I’m still having a major existential hangover.

Would not purchase again.

(Via Peeve Farm.)

Anime anthropology

The Field Guide to Convention Cosplayers

The Old School Tribute

Likely Cosplaying:
– Lum from Urusei Yatsura
– Anyone from Ranma ½
– Anyone from Final Fantasy II through V

Defining Traits:
– Looking really good in a classic cosplay
– Unless it’s overly complex or revealing, being completely unrecognized and ignored.

May I Take A Picture?: Please do.

Do: Thank them for remembering a show that came out before InuYasha.

Do Not: Mistake the Daicon bunny girl for Haruko from FLCL.

Coming attractions

Previews of the summer 2010 anime season:

Trap Academy — A transfer student at an exclusive all-girl boarding school discovers that every single one of her pretty classmates is actually a boy in disguise.

Does Anyone Need Tenchi? Does Anyone Care? — Yet another spinoff of the venerable franchise. In this one, Mihoshi’s IQ approaches the single digits.

Mystery Meat — Students with paranormal abilities investigate inexplicable events in the school cafeteria. Chiaki J. Konaka’s script draws on quantum mechanics, evolutionary biology and feng shui in this account of alternate realities and healthy nutrition.

Planet of the Enormous Hooters — Al Franken’s masterpiece receives an appropriately respectful anime adaptation. The staff includes alumni of the Queen’s Blade and Eiken crews.

Apocryphelion — Aliens attack the Earth as foretold by ancient Mesopotamian clay tablets, and only neurotic adolescents piloting absurdly large mecha can save the planet.

inCurably Pretty — The latest iteration of PreCure introduces 17 more magical girls. The pastel mahou shoujo outfits feature second-order ruffles. ((I.e., ruffles on the ruffles.))

Sliders — The intense world of professional shuffleboard is examined in the suspenseful tale of the rising star of the care home circuit. Is her mysterious ability to put the puck dead center in the “10” triangle every time somehow connected to the fact that she has not spoken to her manager and husband in 53 years? And what about the mysterious reigning champion, who is as stacked as Carol Doda, and as old? The show sets new precedents for fanservice. (The DVDs will feature additional steam.)

Angels and Idiots — An ancient order of renegade priests and a nun in a slinky habit who lives her own version of aggiornamento are all that stand between humanity and an unholy alliance of vampires, demons and lawyers — or is it the other way around? This gnostic extravaganza is sure to be a favorite of cosplayers.

Godot Can Wait — Nabeshin’s first effort for World Masterpiece Theater is a breezy adaptation of Beckett’s play. Nabeshin himself takes the much-expanded role of Pozzo’s slave, Lucky, and finds surprisingly many opportunities for fanservice in Beckett’s barren landscape.

Type Two — Mika isn’t sure how she feels about Kai. Sometimes she treats him with affection, but just as often she subjects him to scorn and violence. Their budding romance abruptly ends when Kai obtains a restraining order against her.

Yokai Cram School — A vampire who faints at the sight of blood, a vegan werewolf, a succubus who made a vow of celibacy, skirts too short to sit down in … and the hell with it. It’s not easy to invent something as stupid as Rosario + Vampire.

Four balls?

Pete says that baseball is

A game without discernable rules or purpose; I deduced that teams compete to collect points, but those are awarded arbitrarily, so the formal objective does nothing to add any sense to the proceedings.

I just happened to digitize The Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart last week. Here’s Newhart’s take on baseball from about 50 years ago:

[audio:http://tancos.net/audio/Nobody Will Ever Play Baseball.mp3]

While I’m uploading audio, here’s a selection from another curiosity I came across: string quartet arrangements of music from Rozen Maiden. Here’s a sample:

[audio:http://tancos.net/audio/Otome wa Tenshin Ranman.mp3]

*****

I have jury duty this week, so I’ll probably be spending the days at the courthouse and the evenings at the office. See you all next week.

Update: I was spared jury duty. (Actually, The plaintiff in the case I was in the pool for had suffered a broken ankle and knee injuries. It was no surprise that I wasn’t empaneled, given my own broken ankle and knee problems.)

Cabbages and rhinoceroses

Robert notes that today is the birthday of Neil Innes, who, in addition to being the Seventh Python, was also part of the Bonzo Dog Band. Here are a couple of tunes Innes wrote or co-wrote for the band. The first was produced by “Apollo C. Vermouth,” better-known as Paul McCartney. The second features narration by the late, great Vivian Stanshall.

I’m the Urban Spaceman
[mp3]http://tancos.net/audio/Im the Urban Spaceman.mp3[/mp3]

Rhinocratic Oaths
[mp3]http://tancos.net/audio/Rhinocratic Oaths.mp3[/mp3]