Six are enough, if you have the time. See R.A. Lafferty. And also Russell Maloney.
(Via Pixy.)
For more STEM literature, see A Stress Analysis of a Strapless Evening Gown.
Category: Humor and horror
Alternate history: 1865
Steve Sailer this week wrote about American presidents and alcohol, which reminded me of this old favorite.
If Grant Had Been Drinking at Appomattox
By James Thurber
(“Scribner’s” magazine is publishing a series of three articles: “If Booth Had Missed Lincoln,” “If Lee Had Won the Battle of Gettysburg,” and “If Napoleon Had Escaped to America.” This is the fourth.)
The morning of the ninth of April, 1865, dawned beautifully. General Meade was up with the first streaks of crimson in the sky. General Hooker and General Burnside were up and had breakfasted, by a quarter after eight. The day continued beautiful. It drew on toward eleven o’clock. General Ulysses S. Grant was still not up. He was asleep in his famous old navy hammock, swung high above the floor of his headquarters’ bedroom. Headquarters was distressingly disarranged: papers were strewn on the floor; confidential notes from spies scurried here and there in the breeze from an open window; the dregs of an overturned bottle of wine flowed pinkly across an important military map.
Farewell to the button-down mind
A Christmas tradition
The full lyrics:
Deck us all with Boston Charlie,
Walla Walla, Wash., an’ Kalamazoo!
Nora’s freezin’ on the trolley,
Swaller dollar cauliflower alley-garoo!Don’t we know archaic barrel
Lullaby Lilla Boy, Louisville Lou?
Trolley Molly don’t love Harold,
Boola boola Pensacoola hullabaloo!
Update: See also here.
A Great Moment ….
A recent discussion at Severian’s place touched on Frank Lloyd Wright, which reminded me of David Macaulay’s rendering of one of his buildings. (I used to live a few blocks from a Wright-designed house in Wichita.)
There are a few more of Macauley’s works below the fold.
A tale of Whoopshire
Last year we had a P.G. Wodehouse story for Halloween. This year it’s Robert Benchley’s turn. This is technically a Christmas story, but it’s equally inappropriate for October 31.
Uncle Edith’s Ghost Story
“Tell us a ghost story, Uncle Edith,” cried all the children late Christmas afternoon when everyone was cross and sweaty.
“Very well, then,” said Uncle Edith, “it isn’t much of a ghost story, but you will take it—and like it,” he added, cheerfully. “And if I hear any whispering while it is going on, I will seize the luckless offender and baste him one.
Sanity break
Historical humor, 1925-1950
More ancient New Yorker cartoons, all of which are probably older than any of my visitors. Click to embiggen.
Notes from another garden
Back in ancient times, there were no such things as “memes.” Instead, there were New Yorker cartoons, such as this one. Click on the picture to enlarge it.
Chickens, dogs, banjos and bagpipes
Alan Arkin died a few days ago. You can find plenty of encomiums to this unique, legendary, etc. artist online1. Back in 1958, long before Peter Falk yelled “Serpentine” at him, he wrote a minor classic science fiction story, “People Soup.”2 You can read it here.
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There’s an exhibition of Komar & Melamid’s art in New Jersey. I’d like to see it, but it’s a bit far to pedal. I wrote briefly about the duo here. The New Criterion article, worth reading though it is, omits one noteworthy project of theirs, a collaboration with composer David Soldier to produce examples of the “most wanted” and “least wanted” pieces of music. The “most wanted” song is inevitably drivel that not even Vernon Reid’s guitar can redeem, but people do like drivel, as I constantly rediscover. The “least wanted” song, however, is simultaneously wonderful and horrible and is worth hearing all the way though at least once.
Lines, straightish and broken
I recently learned that one of my favorite cartoonists, George Booth, died last year. Here’s a selection of his cartoons to remember him by. Click on them to see them larger.
How many inches in a liter?
A classic from ancient times, still appropriate today.
Amending the amendments
From A Postmodern Permutation of the Bill of Rights:
6. In all criminal prosecutions for political crimes, the media shall enjoy the right to mount a speedy and public trial of the accused, by a jury of partisan hacks, in newspapers and television programs produced thousands of miles from the district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district said partisan hacks shall mock, ridicule, and defame. Participation of the accused in his own media and judicial trials is forbidden as an impediment to the efficient operation of the justice system.
Sort of a Christmas story
Some years back I posted one of Robert Benchley’s Christmas pieces. Here’s another.
Editha’s Christmas Burglar
By Robert Benchley
It was the night before Christmas, and Editha was all agog. It was all so exciting, so exciting! From her little bed up in the nursery she could hear Mumsey and Daddy down-stairs putting the things on the tree and jamming her stocking full of broken candy and oranges.
The dainty forefinger of terror
Long before The Haunting of Hill House, P.G. Wodehouse explored the possibilities of malevolent spirits infesting old houses. Here is probably the most chilling story Plum ever wrote, published nearly a century ago in 1925.