Author: Don

Here’s a list

These are the nominees for the most poorly-conceived, unnecessary, pointlessly irritating and absolute worst character in anime. (I’m letting Sailor Mars and Kazuhara represent the entire casts of Sailor Moon and Girls Bravo.)

Jinnai Katsuhiko (El Hazard, The Wanderers)
Gauron (Full Metal Panic)
Happosai (Ranma 1/2)
Basera Nekki (Macross 7)
NB (Tenchi Muyo GXP)
Dr. Kyogi Ogami (Amazing Nurse Nanako)
Rei Hino/Sailor Mars (Sailor Moon)
Kazuhara (Girls Bravo)
Shinji Ikari (Neon Genesis Evangelion)
Nanami (Revolutionary Girl Utena)
Pain (Naruto)
Tomo Takino (Azumanga Daioh)
Kimura (Azumanga Daioh)

Are there any other anime characters who make you cringe whenever they appear? Nominate them in the comments. I’ll post the poll sometime this weekend.

Fun with Google

What’s the secret word?

(Via Peeve Farm.)

Update: I’ve amused myself these past few days by guessing whether “climategate” will appear in the autosuggestions as I type it in the search box. Sometimes it will appear as soon as I type “clim;” a few hours later, we’re back to “climate guatemala.” Perhaps it really is just a flaky algorithm, but I can’t help being skeptical.

Hate crime?

Some Roman Catholic churchmen, meanwhile, have said that the words “hokey pokey” derive from “hocus pocus” — the Oxford English Dictionary concurs — and that the song was written by 18th-century Puritans to mock the language of the Latin Mass. Last year the Catholic Church in Scotland, concerned that some soccer fans were using the song as a taunt, raised the possibility that singing it should be prosecuted as a hate crime.

I suppose I should take umbrage at Focus, too.

Zombie Sue and Vampire Maris

A friend mentioned that he was curious about The Supergal, or Maris the Chojo, so I found it for him. I made the mistake of watching it myself, and I can authoritatively state that its obscurity is well-deserved, even if it based on a Rumiko Takahashi story. Unless you think that female wrestling is the apogee of civilized entertainment, skip it. Watch Project A-ko again instead. However, it does give me an opportunity to post a picture within a spoiler tag for Ubu.

Spoiler

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Slayers Tolerable

Naga, left, and the other fashion designer from the third episode.
Naga, left, and the other fashion designer from the third episode.

A friend found that he had two copies of Slayers Excellent, so he gave me one (thank you, Richard). It’s set earlier than the TV series, before Lina meets Gourry, Zelgadis et al. Instead of them, we have Naga the Serpent (approximately .8 Rushunas). How much you enjoy Slayers Excellent depends on how much of Naga you can stand. She’s every bit as stupid as Gourry, but unlike the dense but admirable swordsman, she’s a narcissist with no compensating virtues. It’s a good question whether she’s more dangerous as an enemy or an ally. She sorely tries the patience of Lina and the audience, and she might be a candidate for the next poll.

Naga aside, the three episodes of Slayers Excellent are mostly decent farces ((The ending of the second episode is a bit indecent.)) in which Lina faces a vampire, escorts a spoiled rich girl on a journey, and gets caught in a fashion feud that escalates faster than a flame war. The last episode is a showcase for Aya Hisakawa as the deranged defender of tradition.

I ran a few tests, and I can report that, contrary to rumor, Naga’s laugh will not peel paint. Possibly, if you play it repeatedly at a high volume on a good sound system, it might soften the surface layer of a painted object, but if you have furniture to refinish, a chemical stripper will work far more efficiently and present fewer health hazards.

“… we could hear the universe inhaling …”

Occasionally reviews are worth reading.

Transmission of music data at rates faster than the speed of light seemed convenient, until I realized I was hearing the music before I actually wanted to play it. Apparently Denon forgot how accustomed most of us are to unidirectional time and the general laws of physics. I tried to get used to this effect but hearing songs play before I even realized I was in the mood for them just really screwed up my preconceptions of choice and free will. I’m still having a major existential hangover.

Would not purchase again.

(Via Peeve Farm.)

Call for nominations

It’s about time for a new poll. So … who is the worst character in anime? I don’t mean who is the most evil — a good villain can be a pleasure to watch and is essential for some kinds of stories ((The loathsome Dolores Umbridge is perhaps the most memorable character in the entire Harry Potter franchise.)) — but, rather, who is the most poorly-conceived, unnecessary or pointlessly irritating? Who provides unfunny comic relief, pathological angst or repulsive fanservice? Who spoils every scene he’s in? List your nominations in the comments. You can nominate more than one, but please don’t get carried away.

Some possibilities:

Rei Hino/Sailor Mars (Sailor Moon) — She may be the best-looking of the Sailor Senshi and a magical miko, but she is also quarrelsome and obnoxious.

Tomo Takino (Azumanga Daioh) — AD should have been a great show. Unfortunately, there are a couple of problems. One is the insufferable Tomo.

NB (Tenchi Muyo GXP) — Never was comic relief so tedious. Or so unnecessary. Without Nabeshin’s self-insertion, TMGXP would be a solid four stars out of five; with him, the most I can give is three.

Barashishou (Rozen Maiden Traümend) — It’s obvious early on that she’s not a proper Rozen Maiden: ((Yeah, that’s a spoiler, but I don’t care. The show is a waste of time.)) there is no personality behind the smirk.

“Ms.” Aki (Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi) — I really, really don’t want to see middle-aged transvestites. Uninteresting footnote: Aki is voiced by the same voice actor as

Kimura (Azumanga Daioh) — I’ll just quote Steven from his legendary lost review of AD: “Someone please shoot him.”

Friday linkdump

The website for Satoshi Kon’s current project is active. Yume-Miru Kikai looks like a significant departure from Kon’s previous work, at least visually, and unlike Paranoia Agent and Paprika, this “future folklore story” might be suitable for all ages.

An appreciation of the background art of Oh! Edo Rocket.

For anyone who’s ever said “Huh?” at a renaissance faire.

If you’re in the Minneapolis area, you can catch a performance of “A Christmas Carol” in Klingon. (Via Maureen the Suburban Banshee.)

A three-dimensional Mandelbrot set? (also via Maureen.)

Bored with caricaturing Roman Catholicism, manga artists have discovered the Eastern Orthodox.

An old interview with the late John Sladek I came across recently. Sladek, discoverer of the thirteenth sign of the zodiac (Arachne, May 13 to June 9), ((For the morbidly curious, my own sign is “No parking — violators will be towed at owner expense.”)) was one of the last century’s best satirists and is of my favorite writers.

Meep.

Thinking about large numbers.

Keep an eye on those ducks:

[audio:http://tancos.net/audio/02 Thus Quacked Zarathustra.mp3]

Public service announcement: the complete Dirty Pair TV is out there, subtitled, if you know where to look.