Dear Howie

Odds and ends:

I didn’t get very far into Haiyore! Nyaruko-san the first time I sampled it. Sticking a fork into a little girl is not amusing, even if the girl is actually Nyarlathotep. However, both Steven and Ken the Brickmuppet found the first two episodes not entirely worthless. So I gritted my teeth, put my feet firmly on the floor, gripped the armrests of my chair, and grimly stuck it out through the rest of the first episode. Well, it is an improvement over the wretched flash shorts of two years ago, and the forking is not quite as offensive. ((Kirika Yumera remains the only person in anime licensed to use the fork as an offensive weapon.)) Still, I found it more irritating than funny, and I doubt that I’ll watch more.

By the way, Howard Phillips Lovecraft for a brief period was a Miss Lonelyhearts, answering questions such as this:

I am Xah’gnui, who has long delved into the annals of subterranean lore, conducting forbidden researches into the unknown, with a view to resurrecting aeon-silent interplanetary necromancer-lizards. Why is it so hard for me to get a date?

(Via Lynn.)

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I see there is an “aniblog” tournament underway. The candidates were drawn primarily from AnimeNano, if I’m interpreting the rules correctly. Unfortunately, this leaves out some of the most interesting weblogs that deal with anime. For instance:

Aliens in This World

Brickmuppet Blog

Chizumatic

Fun Blog

Mahou Meido Meganekko

Wonderduck’s Pond

All of these are worth a visit.

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Allegedly, the more subtle your mind, the more difficult you’ll find this puzzle. I got it in about 30 seconds.

(Via AoSHQ.)

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Mahou shoujo anime is pornographic. So is anime set in high schools. In fact, probably every anime produced this century is pure pornography.

(Via Dustbury.)

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Quote of the week, sobering thought division:

The greatest legacy of the internet may wind up being Cute Overload.

(God and the Machine.)

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Quote of the week, anime division:

If I had a daughter, I’d want her to watch this.

(The Brickmuppet on Mouretsu Pirates.)

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Memo to Trek Bicycle Corporation: I see that your factory is in Waterloo, Wisconsin. There is a good chance that you can find literate native speakers of English there. Please hire one, and have him write directions for mounting your luggage rack on a bicycle, so customers don’t have to puzzle over the cryptic diagrams that come with the rack. By the way, it would be thoughful to note on the outside of the packaging that installing the rack requires a hacksaw and file, where customers can see it before buying the rack.

While at the bike shop earlier this week, I discovered that Trek bicycles include a line called “Neko.” Surprisingly, there is no suggestion of anything feline on the bike or on the Trek website. The Neko does feature “Women’s disc brakes.”

The flavors of evil

Dolores Umbridge
Dolores Umbridge
Kyubey
Kyubey

Dr. J. recently commented that “… there was no more deliciously evil character than Dolores Umbridge.” In the Potterverse, that’s unquestionably true. Umbridge is one of the best villains of recent years. But so is Kyubey. (And yes, Kyubey meets the Weatherwax criterion: he is indeed quite evil.)

So, how do you like your villains, delicious or cute? ((I’m aware that Kyubey is delicious, or at least edible. No wisecracks, please.))

Remembering the memories

These are the nominations so far for the most memorable anime episode:

Angel Beats #1
Aria the Origination #9
Azumanga Daioh #10
Banner of the Stars #1
Dennou Coil #16
Divergence Eve: Misaki Chronicles #13
Haibane Renmei #1
Higurashi no Naku Koro ni #4
Kamichu #3
Katanagatari #4
Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica #10
Mushi-shi #1
Mushi-shi #5
Mushi-shi #15
Mushi-shi #16
Mushi-shi #17
Mushi-shi #22
Naruto #22
Paranoia Agent #8
RahXephon #18
Serial Experiments Lain #13
Sugar, a Little Snow Fairy #24
Super Dimension Fortress Macross/Robotech #18
Tengen Toppa Gurren-Lagann #27

Some other episodes were mentioned, though not actually nominated:

Angel Beats #5
Azumanga Daioh #18
Kamichu #5, #9 (“Yamato”), #12
Kino’s Journey #2, #3, #13

Surely there’s more. Where are Cowboy Bebop, Cardcaptor Sakura, Angelic Layer, Princess Tutu, Nadesico, Suzumiya Haruhi, Noir, Petite Princess Yucie, … ? Please make suggestions in the comments. Feel free to explain your choices in general terms, but be careful of spoilers.

When I post the poll, I’ll probably limit the number of candidate episodes from a particular series to two. For Mushishi, those will mostly likely be #5 and #16.

Research aids: Wham Episode; Moment of Awesome.

First look, last look

I recently sampled some of the winter and spring anime series. A few are watchable, but there’s no Dennou Coil or Madoka Magica among them. Mouretsu Pirates remains the only one I can unhesitatingly recommend, and I classify it as “light entertainment,” albeit an unusually well-executed example.

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I picked up the first disc of the original, quarter-century-old Saint Seiya to fill out an order in one of RightStuf’s 25-for-$100 sales. I made it though the first episode. The armor was pretty and the hair impressive, but the story was pure dumb shounen. Has the franchise improved any over the years? Nope. This is as far as I got in Saint Seiya Omega:

Jack London could not be reached for comment.

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I launched the first episode of the new, upgraded version of Nyarko-san to see if it was any better than the abysmal Flash shorts inflicted upon us two years ago. Within five minutes, the male lead stuck a fork into the wrist of the cute crawling chaos. The hell with it.

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I’ve been curious about a card game that occasionally turns up in such anime as Animal Yokocho, where it is called “100 poets.” Exactly how it played is not clear there or anywhere else I’ve seen it. It turns out to be uta-garuta, one of the many forms of karuta — sort of a literary hybrid of slapjack and concentration. A hundred cards bearing the last two lines of short poems are laid out on the playing surface. Someone reads cards from a second set bearing the complete poems, and each player tries to be the first to find the card bearing the ending lines of the poem being read.

It might be a pleasant diversion to devise an English-language version of the game, if someone hasn’t already done so. Variations come to mind — silly limericks for children, other limericks for adults, lyrics from the Great American Songbook, etc.

Competitive karuta is the gimmick of Chihayafuru, yet another damned series about quirky high school students. Unfortunately, I didn’t last long enough to see any card action. The josei art style didn’t appeal to me and none of the characters caught my interest. Jonathan watched the entire show and liked it quite a bit, so I might give it a second chance.

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I did make it all the way through the first episode of Ozma, which apparently has nothing to do with L. Frank Baum. As with Saint Seiya Omega, the character designs are appealingly old-style. So is everything else, except not quite so appealing. It’s set in a wasteland Earth, where competing quasi-military groups are interested in a Mysterious Woman. Giant whales swim deep in the desert sands; one of the commanders relies on tarot cards; there’s lots of shouting and shooting; I’m starting to lose interest. Maybe I’ll watch more. Maybe I won’t.

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The first episode of Polar Bear Cafe focused on a lazy panda’s less-than-wholehearted attempts to find a job. I generally don’t find slackers amusing, and I didn’t find it particularly funny. I believe the next episode concerns a penguin with money problems. I’ll see how that is and then decide whether to keep watching. If Polar Bear Cafe does turn out to be worthwhile, it will be valuable as a show for youngsters as well as adults.

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Sengoku Collection is another series in which Japanese historical figures are reimagined as pretty, busty young women. It looks like it’s going be mostly silliness and mild fanservice. If it maintains its tone and doesn’t get stupid, it might stay on my watch list.

I wonder: how would you go about making an American version? I’d probably pick characters from the Revolutionary War; the scars from the Civil War still haven’t healed. What kind of anime girl would George Washington be? Or Thomas Jefferson, or Aaron Burr? Where would you put them, and when?

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I watched the first two episodes of Inu x Boku Secret Service. An aloof, unfriendly girl with purple eyes moves into an apartment house for certain unusual individuals. There she finds, to her displeasure, that she has acquired an aggressively obsequious bishie bodyguard with mismatched eyes. The show poses the question: why would a multi-tailed fox want to be a dog? Also, is the dog a loyal golden retriever or a manipulative cocker spaniel? ((I generally prefer the company of dogs to that of people, but I’m not fond of cocker spaniels. I’ve been bitten more often by them than by any other breed of dog.)) I expect the underlying story to be the unspoken struggle for dominance between the girl and her bodyguard. As long as the series maintains its light touch and doesn’t devolve into kinkiness, I’ll probably watch more.

Light, fantasy and physics

… an exceptionally talented artist with excruciatingly bad taste” died yesterday. While discussing Kinkade’s significance, McDonald mentioned Roger Dean, who in turn reminded me of the Studio Ghibli curiosity, Iblard Jikan. The entire 30 minutes is now available online, and I’ve embedded it below. Whose fantasies do you prefer, Kinkade’s or Naohise Inoue’s?


Iblard Jikan by lostfiles

It’s a trap! Or is it?

Newtype is the largest of the magazines in Richard’s box, both in number of pages and in physical dimensions. The pages are too wide to fit entirely in the scanner, and many of the best pictures are two-page spreads. It may take me a while to figure out the most efficient way to handle them. Until then, here are a handful of 1990 Newtype scans with a couple of puzzles.

RG Veda

RG Veda, again. Guess the sex of Ashura, the youngster in white, without looking it up. This is a CLAMP project, so don’t assume anything.

Continue reading “It’s a trap! Or is it?”

Rule 5

I’ve been blogging for nearly nine years — the anniversary of the launch of my first weblog is a week from Saturday — and I long ago realized that I’ll never get a million hits in a year, or ever. I am not interested in blogwhoring, I’m too contemptuous of politicians to care about their blather and posturing, and I dislike making unnecessary enemies.

One thing I can do, though, is post pictures of pretty girls. Conveniently, Richard’s anime magazines are a rich source of such. Here’s another batch of scans. These are from two editions of a “New Video Magazine,” one from 1986 and the other from 1991. Both are similar in format to Vversion, which I looked at previously, so this time I’m focusing mostly on the cheesecake.

'86 cover

Continue reading “Rule 5”

Call for nominations

Which episodes of anime series do you find most memorable? Which stay with you long after you put the DVDs back in their cases? Please mention them in the comments. If there are enough nominated, they will the subject of the next poll.

Some possibilities: the first episodes of Haibane Renmei and Mushishi; the last episodes of Serial Experiments Lain and Divergence Eve: Misaki Chronicles; the tenth episode of Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica; the third episode of Kamichu; the eighth episode of Paranoia Agent.

You can nominate more than one episode from a particular series. The second, third and final installments of Kino’s Journey each pack quite a punch, and are all worth mentioning.

Feel free to explain in general terms why a particular episode sticks in your mind, but beware of spoilers. For instance, I could note that “Happy Family Planning” in Paranoia Agent is a perfect fusion of slapstick and horror, but I would not mention anything about the characters or what they do.

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If you haven’t yet voted in the current poll, please do so. I’m going to let it run a little longer and see how long the leading couples remain tied.

Make your reservations now

The organizers of many smaller anime conventions, such as Anime Fest Wichita, are often slow to update their websites. This is inconvenient for those who prefer to plan ahead, so I’ve compiled information for a typical regional convention. This is by no means complete, but it should give potential attendees an idea of what to expect.

Classes, workshops and panels

Anime Taxonomy
The traditional division of anime and manga into the categories of shounen, shoujo, seinen and josei is of little use to the serious student of anime. We’ll develop an alternate classification scheme using as parameters magnitude of breasts, intensity of angst, quantity of blood, diameter of eyes, presence of kemenomimi, frequency of panchira, and potential violations of child pornography laws.

The State of Anime I
A discussion of the problems facing anime in the West and its chances of survival. The presenters place the blame squarely where it belongs: the insane Japanese system for financing anime, and the greed and paranoia of the license-holders.

Anime and the Significant Other
How to introduce that special person in your life to your obsession; tips on which titles to watch together first, what plushies are suitable gifts, how to suggest cosplay, and when to bring up Evangelion.

Continue reading “Make your reservations now”

Let’s Artist

The majority of the magazines in Richard’s box are Mangajin, Dragon and Newtype. The former two are perfect-bound, which makes it difficult to scan entire pages without breaking the spine. Consequently, I’ll be focusing on the Newtype issues. (I’m sure Steven is disappointed, since the Dragon Half manga was running in Dragon’s back pages.)

Before I start on Newtype, here’s a look at Vversion ((Or V Version, or Wersion, depending on how you interpret the flag.)), devoted primarily to OVAs. It’s 132 pages, including the covers, and roughly half of it is glossy color.

Continue reading “Let’s Artist”

Historical documents

My friend Richard has been following anime since the mid-1980s, when he was stationed in Okinawa. This past weekend he brought by a box of a magazines, many 20 years old or older. Most of them are Japanese-only, and I can’t read a word. However, I can look at the pictures, and there are lots of pictures.

Continue reading “Historical documents”

Birthday present

Johann Sebastian Bach was born 327 years ago today (or on March 31, depending on which calendar you use). To celebrate the occasion, Amazon.com is selling nine hours of his music for 99¢ for a few days. I recognized a few of the performers, such as Joseph Szigeti and Andras Schiff, but most I’m not familiar with. I expect that the Amazon offering is mainly good older recordings and recent recordings by lesser-known artists. It’s probably worth gambling a dollar on.

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I know what I want for Christmas:

Exceedingly miscellaneous

In the 1970s, Jack Thompson bought a tract of land in the Royal Gardens subdivision on the island of Hawaii and began building a cedar home there. He finished it in 1983. As he installed the second-story windows, he noticed a orange glow on the panes. The light came from the lava fountains that heralded the eruption of Kilauea, which continues to this day. Over the years, lava flows took out all his neighbors’ homes, one by one, until only Thompson’s was left. This month, a vigorous flow found his house, leaving little beyond a satellite dish embedded in six feet of basalt.

Continue reading “Exceedingly miscellaneous”

The many flavors of cheesecake

To save you the trouble of clicking repeatedly on the lower left corner of Steven’s header, I’ve collected 915 of the images and assembled them into a convenient slide show.

The singer is Mayumi Kojima. She’s probably best-known in the anime world for “Poltergeist,” the memorable opening theme of the otherwise disappointing Ghost Hound.

Yoctometers, yottameters and ponies

Two weeks’ worth of random stuff.

Of all the mysteries in Mouretsu Pirates, the most puzzling, and the least likely to be satisfactorily explained, are the Sailor Moon shout-outs. This Princess Serenity is anything but a ditzy airhead.

By the way, it is impossible to watch just one episode of Shingu.

Continue reading “Yoctometers, yottameters and ponies”